Late one evening in 2003, I became suddenly ill at bedtime. By the middle of the night, I wondered if I should go to the hospital, but I was too weak to call out for help. So instead, alone and miserable, I prayed to feel better between fitful naps on the cold bathroom floor. Then, at one of the lowest moments of the night, the Bible verse about being "thankful in all things" suddenly popped into my head. If I hadn't felt so terrible, I would have laughed.

During that awful night, I was decidedly unthankful. But, the Bible seemed clear - “in all things” must include sickness, not just health. I reasoned that my illness presented the perfect opportunity to try. So, I thanked God for the warm house and my immune system. Then, unable to think of anything else, I thanked Him that I wasn't dead yet.

Over the years, I often reflected on that night. Is that what God meant when He said, "be thankful always"? To exercise thankfulness like a muscle, expressing gratitude for His earthly blessings, even in the worst circumstances? After all, doing so did make me feel marginally better. Was that the point? 

Christian pastors, writers, and theologians send mixed signals. Although some say gratitude is a discipline, others suggest it's a virtue. Some say it's a gift, while others label it as a feeling flowing naturally to us as recipients of God's grace. Many say it's evidence of our salvation and that thankfulness is necessary to experience the fullness of Christian life. Henri Nouwen says to be grateful for both the good and the bad is "hard spiritual work." Does that mean that we don't feel thankful because we aren't trying hard enough? 

And is our primary focus in gratitude meant to be on gifts in the earthly realm? Many Christian teachings on gratitude say yes. As Ann Voskamp expresses it in her book One Thousand Gifts, "There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up." (p. 57) I agree that it seems good and right to thank God for gifts in the physical world – like I did that night I was sick – but I continued to wrestle with the notion. Surely God meant something more. And are Christians with more admirable or abundant blessings supposed to feel more thankful than those with less? And what about those times when there is nothing on earth for which to be grateful?

I wondered if my gratitude practice was any different than the world's version. The world trumpets seeing the cup "half full" as a panacea for feeling good. Norman Vincent Peale popularized this notion in the 1950s with his book, The Power of Positive Thinking. But this secularized version of gratitude removes the giver from the equation, like a thank you note written but never sent. Is that the only difference for Christians? That we thank God for our full cup instead of just noticing it?

Indeed, there are many benefits to this kind of "generic thankfulness." A vast array of research agrees that simply appreciating what we have is good for us. In her book Atlas of the Heart, author Brené Brown says, "gratitude is correlated with better sleep, increased creativity, decreased entitlement, decreased hostility and aggression, increased decision-making skills, decreased blood pressure – the list goes on…" (p. 211). She adds that focusing more on the positives "magnifies the pleasures you get from life." (p. 213)

And therein lies the problem for Christians adopting this view: gratitude only for what we have is inherently self-focused. It's not necessarily focused on God at all. 

Somehow, despite years of church and Bible studies, I was missing something. Sure, I expressed occasional thanks for salvation, creation, and random spiritual things like God's presence and goodness. But I felt like a broken record at times, like I was only scratching the surface.

Fast forward to 2019, when a random experience with discouragement led to a surprising journey into a deeper understanding of this concept. It began one night when I was feeling a little low. Deciding that reading years of blessings I had recorded in my gratitude journal would lift my spirits, I opened it. Quickly, I realized that my list was primarily rooted in people, events, and possessions. My journal was written proof that I had been more thankful for the gifts than the giver, more grateful for the benefits than the benefactor. I wondered if I would still feel thankful as I grew older and the abundance of my gifts declined. It was an "aha" moment. Suddenly, I saw the problem clearly and knew what I was missing.

I decided to study God more intentionally than I ever had, straight from the source, by reading a small passage from the Old and New Testaments daily. My goal was to seek out everything the Bible said about Him - all the reasons to show Him gratitude.

The process reminded me of a 3-D wooden puzzle a friend had given me. The pieces were intricately carved, like miniature works of art. Many didn't seem like they could possibly fit with other parts. But somehow, they did, and the whole was even more beautiful than the individual pieces. Though each truth about God from the Bible is remarkable, putting them together paints a more cohesive picture but also one that is overwhelmingly comforting, awe-inspiring, and gratitude-producing. I had spent my life looking only at the pieces, never the whole.

Theologians and Christian thinkers may disagree about whether gratitude is an emotion, attitude, discipline, or gift of the Holy Spirit. But whatever it is, if you're a believer, the way to experience it is by seeing who God is. There is no substitute for reflecting on His full character and contemplating His extraordinary works throughout the Bible. Only by opening our eyes to see all He has revealed of Himself in word and action will we feel thankful in all things. Even in the worst of circumstances, with no earthly gifts, focusing on the actions, attributes, and promises of God leads to deep, authentic, ever-flowing gratitude.

My view of gratitude was woefully incomplete that dreadful night in 2003, and I am still learning. I had not focused on the fullness of God, only the crumbs of it. But, just as faith is the evidence of things not seen, gratitude is the evidence of grace received and glory revealed. It is what pours out of our hearts, not just by acknowledging His gifts but by knowing the Giver more intimately. When we do, the things of the earth do grow strangely dim. And a river of gratitude freely flows.

I have created a Gratitude Calendar to accompany this article. You will find it under the Resource tab of this website. I invite you to print it out and use it each day to offer prayers of gratitude to God for who He is and what He has done/is doing/will do!

Voskamp, Ann. (2010). One Thousand Gifts. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

Brown, Brené. (2021). Atlas of the Heart. New York, NY: Random House.