The Men We Need
Many complex factors have led to a negative view of masculinity in modern culture and confusion regarding what it means to be a man. So, as a mother who has raised three boys in this atmosphere, I was intrigued by Brant Hansen’s book The Men We Need: God’s Purpose for the Manly Man, the Avid Indoorsman, or Any Man Willing to Show Up. Although it was written primarily for men, I found it relevant and valuable. Also, I liked that it didn’t feel like a “man-bashing” book – rather, Hansen expressed his views in a very encouraging way.
Hansen is an award-winning Christian radio personality, a married father of two, and an advocate for CURE International. In addition, he’s a self-proclaimed “avid indoorsman” who was once Illinois Student Library Association president. Oh, and he apparently owns puppets.
The author lays out a compelling case that masculinity is about showing up, taking responsibility, and protecting the vulnerable. He writes that men “are ‘masculine’ not to the extent that [they] body-build or achieve sexual conquests or fix stuff, but to the extent that [they] are faithful to the job of being humble, consistent, dedicated keepers of the garden.” (29) Ultimately, according to Hansen, true masculinity should result in people feeling safe around men, and I agree with him.
The Men We Need is organized around six decisions Hansen believes are critical for men to make to live according to God’s design for them. As he describes these decisions, Hansen tackles topics such as relationships, work, ambition, meaning, commitment, and emotions (especially fear and anger). Each section has “aha” moments and valuable insights. My two personal favorite decisions are “Forsake the fake, relish the real,” and “Protect the vulnerable.”
By “forsaking the fake,” the author primarily refers to the internet. In an era where more and more men are escaping into pornography, video games, and other online content, Hansen presents a robust case for why we need men to remain present in the world. He implores men, “Please don’t waste your God-given desire for adventure and accomplishment by being a fake hero fighting fake injustices in fake worlds.” (73) Coming from a man who admittedly enjoys playing video games, this carries even more weight. He isn’t anti-gaming. He’s pro-real-world engagement because families and communities suffer from the absence of men.
Hansen is passionate about protecting the vulnerable and making others feel safer. He backs up his words with personal stories and extensive real-life service through CURE International. He also shares about how he cares for the women in his life. But my favorite part of the book focuses on how Jesus treated women. Even though I am familiar with the accounts of those interactions, Hansen helped me see with fresh eyes the perfect example Christ set for how men should act toward and speak to females.
One topic the book touches on that is not commonly addressed is male passivity. Men are often associated with aggression, but rarely do we recognize and talk about the perils of male passivity and inaction, which are also very pervasive in today’s culture. Hansen calls on men to exert their God-given power to influence their homes by living out their faith actively and intentionally. “If you’re at peace, if you’re growing as a believer, if you’re active, present, and engaged with your family, your home atmosphere will be peaceful. Everyone will benefit.” (101) As an example, he looks at the inaction of Adam as Eve partook of the forbidden fruit. “Adam, remarkably, did nothing, and I say ‘remarkably’ because we’re still remarking on it, thousands of years later. That’s how impactful our refusals to act can be…” (33)
Hansen thoughtfully and compellingly delineates what kind of men the world needs and why we need them. He offers strong encouragement and sound reasoning for his vision, but he doesn’t delve very deeply into how to become “the men we need.” Mostly, the book urges men to obey God and lean into the knowledge they already possess, praying and taking charge of their spiritual lives – all good advice. But Hansen isn’t a fan of organized religion, which is unfortunate because I would argue that the church (through corporate worship and the Christian community) is a critical vehicle God uses to shape our characters.
I highly recommend The Men We Need for groups of men looking to examine God’s design and purposes for them. The book is also a valuable resource for women and mothers who want to think more deeply about the role of men in the world and how to support them.
Hansen says that when men don’t take their roles seriously, “…distortion, anxiety, violence, and meaninglessness fill the gap…” because “who [men] are reverberates through your home and neighborhood and the world.” (227) Understanding and pursuing godly masculinity matters. I’m thankful for the countless good men in the world and appreciate Hansen’s insight, encouragement, and direction in a confused generation.
Hansen, Brant. (2022). The Men We need: God’s Purpose for the Manly Man, the Avid Indoorsman, or Any Man Willing to Show Up. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.