The Secret Power of Clean Socks
My biggest housekeeping struggle following my third son’s birth was keeping up with the endless dirty clothes pile. The constant laundry cycle had been my nemesis even before having children, but the battle intensified once I had three active little boys. As soon as I neatly folded and put away our clothes, they appeared again in a heap, mocking me with their soil and stains.
Then one fall morning, my oldest had a meltdown while getting ready for school because he couldn’t find clean socks. He was already running late, and the empty “sock basket” meant a longer delay. It was during the Beltway sniper attacks when anxiety in Virginia was at a fevered pitch. We didn’t know if it was safe to walk to school, go to a store, or fill the car with gas. When added to an already heightened level of stress, minor problems seem to grow in importance.
Watching my sweet child’s frustration rise over missing socks that October school morning, I experienced an epiphany that changed my view of tedious tasks forever: clean socks have power.
In a world where the pace often feels too fast to breathe, and stress levels run amok, having what we need for the day, ready to use and in its place, is a prescription for peace. When a semblance of order reigns, we don’t recognize its power; only in its absence do we see its influence on our daily lives. A relaxed sense of organization is a balm to a stressed child’s soul (and his busy mom’s). Picking up, straightening, putting away, washing, and cleaning our belongings readies us to pursue our daily callings, or just our next steps, with a spirit of calm preparedness. And the order of our home doesn’t have to be perfect; in fact, too high of a standard can lead to a different kind of stress.
The benefits of good “stuff management” extend beyond clean clothes. After the sock epiphany, all my mundane household tasks took on a deeper meaning.
Before that point, my primary motivation for “keeping house” was to keep the germ level down, which is a good enough reason to clean. To be completely truthful, another incentive was to give the appearance that I had my act together when people dropped by unexpectedly! But after my son’s missing sock dilemma, I saw firsthand how something as simple as a small, fuzzy object worn on one’s foot, when washed and stored in a designated place, had the near-magical ability to transform the day and create a happy foundation. My sense of purpose in the daily drudgery increased dramatically.
Through the ensuing years, as a mom to four kids, my extensive practice of manual tasks taught me another essential truth: it isn’t just the orderliness that makes these chores beneficial. The very act of doing them produces positive vibes. Even in my early days of parenting, when I found the laundry frustrating, I still experienced inexplicable satisfaction and reward for accomplishing it, even knowing the finished product was short-lived.
When my stress level rises, turning to manual tasks such as wiping down the counters or making the bed lowers it. And I am not alone…over the years, many friends have confirmed this same feeling. Organizing a drawer or a cabinet can be the perfect antidote for calming anxious moments.
In 2018, the University of Richmond neuroscientist Kelly Lambert, well known for teaching rats to drive tiny cars, confirmed my suspicions. Her studies demonstrated that performing manual activities with our hands does reduce stress. Apparently, our minds love it when our hands are engaged in hands-on, physical tasks such as potting plants, washing dishes, folding clothes, or sewing.*
The realization that the menial tasks of day-to-day life not only impact the quality of our days but also improve mental well-being gave another jolt to my sense of purpose within the home. Knowing that the everyday work of keeping house helped to keep my mind healthy infused even more incentive to my work when energy and enthusiasm lagged.
It shouldn’t be surprising that we were made for order. God created us like Himself, and He is a God of order. We are wired for it. But how kind of Him to also give us a “feel good” reaction whenever we take care of our human activities of daily living.
As my children grew, they were able to chip in more and more with manual work of caring for their belongings, but getting them to cooperate happily wasn’t always easy. It turns out that kids don’t usually like to do chores, which is surprising, considering that performing them releases those happy vibes into the brain. Maybe they have to experience it for a while to grasp the rewards.
It’s natural to want to slough off undesirable, repetitive chores to someone else; I have sometimes wished for that. But if we pawn them off to another, some of the benefits of performing those tasks ourselves are lost. In an age where young people report such high anxiety levels, I wonder if we are missing this fundamental way to help them.
Expecting kids to help with housework is also a solution for “nothing to do syndrome,” as well as excellent training to become better roommates and spouses in the future. And activities like organizing a room, knitting a scarf, scrubbing the kitchen, and doing laundry have no negative side effects.
One of the best things we can do for ourselves and our families is to perform our day-to-day tasks with the joy of knowing that we are not only creating order…we are also relaxing our brains. We can feel good about helping our children learn this secret to improved mental health. Instilling this simple way of managing life better and producing positive reactions in the mind is a gift when done with love and grace, not legalism or a standard too high to attain.
After that long-ago morning, when my son cried over no socks, my view of “keeping house” was forever transformed. Because it turns out that something as simple as having clean socks and knowing where to find them is about much more than cleanliness. When not taken to excess, a calm and gentle ordering of our material goods is a critical foundation for a happier and less anxious life. Order prepares, and preparation is a comforting foundation for taking the next step of our day in a positive direction. Order is designed to make us happy, and it begins our day on the right foot – if only we can find a sock for it!
Have you ever had an experience where a lack of order or preparedness negatively impacted your day or your stress level? Why do you think manual tasks are rewarding to our brains? Is there a new manual hobby you have always wanted to try, such as knitting, woodworking, gardening, or painting? In what ways do you view God as a God of order? Do you believe that we are also wired for order?
*Dokoupil, Tony. “How Busy Can Alter Our Brain Chemistry.” CBS Interactive, 18 Mar. 2018, www.cbsnews.com/news/handiwork-how-busy-hands-can-alter-our-brain-chemistry/.