Running on Empty
“You tolerate what you must when it becomes your reality.”
From Becoming Mrs. Lewis by Patti Callahan
“He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.”
Psalm 107:9
During difficult seasons, when we desperately need encouragement, it can be hard to find. As in the quote above, we tend to tolerate hard new realities rather than recognizing the possibility of improving them. I find that in life’s worst chapters, my default response is to put my head down metaphorically and forge ahead, using determination and anxious energy (mixed with an occasional cupcake) as the forces to drive me forward. But God didn’t tell us to simply tolerate each day when we are living in an unpleasant reality; He wants us to experience the joy and peace He offers, which makes each step lighter and reduces the weight of all that we are carrying.
But how?
At least three times per day, I become hungry. If I wait too long to eat, I feel irritable and a little sick. Eating is the only way to satisfy this hunger. By the afternoon, I am often tired. This draggy feeling causes me to slow down. By late at night, I am exhausted and ready for bed. The only relief is to sleep.
Hunger and tiredness are triggers that compel me to fulfill my physical needs for food and sleep. I also have cues demonstrating the need to fill my spirit: grumpiness, complaining, mixed priorities, etc. But I often blow by all the warning signs, ignoring them, pushing them away, and willfully choosing to become increasingly depleted. Before long, I snap at a family member or start seeking to feel better in ways that aren’t healthy – too much screen, too much sugar, too much complaining. Negative thoughts invade, and I feel defeated.
Like a car that won’t go another mile without gas, sometimes, instead of filling up during difficult seasons in life, I tend to get out and push the car. This practice doesn’t get me very far.
An empty spiritual state doesn’t just affect me. It causes me to miss opportunities to encourage and build up others, and sometimes, it even causes me to make someone else’s day worse. It’s hard to pour encouragement into another person when we don’t have anything to pour. Like on airplanes, when we put on our oxygen masks before helping our seatmates with theirs, it is impossible to support others when we can’t breathe ourselves.
My challenge during this pandemic is to pause three times per day, to take in encouragement from the deepest well – God Himself. Like hunger for food, the need for soul refreshment strikes more than once per day. Living out of this intention to fill up spiritually is imperfect for me. Demands come from all corners; problems frequently arise; emotions bubble unexpectedly; circumstances and schedules change hourly; sleep quality rises and falls from day to day; interruptions are constant. But I am inspired to continue trying to turn away from these distractions because I know that if I treat my spiritual needs just like my other basic needs for food and rest, I feel healthier, stronger, and more prepared to face whatever each day brings, not only tolerating the time but enjoying it. Psalm 107 says “He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.”
Allowing time and space for God to refresh my spirit in this way increases feelings of well-being and calm, improving my relations with others. My patience and compassion levels increase, so I can encourage others by showing more grace. My verbal laments and complaints decrease as the pressure valve of my frustrations and sorrows is released to the Lord throughout the day. My ability to share kind words and offer acts of service grows as I allow myself to be refueled on the good news found in the Bible.
Taking spiritual nourishment means stopping something else to offer a few minutes in the company of God, reading the Bible, and praying. It means quieting all the noise around me and giving my undivided focus to God. The result is the correction of perspective and re-grounding in truth.
We often think of sitting down to read the Bible or pray as a spiritual “discipline,” which invokes thoughts of being punished, doing something unpleasant, or trying to develop a vital but challenging habit - like exercise. More appropriately, it should be called spiritual “refreshment” because being quiet with God for a few moments is a rest from the physical world.
What is this time with God like? It is different for everyone. A great way to begin is by opening the book of Philippians and reading a few verses at each sitting. Start with a simple prayer, such as Psalm 119:18, “Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.” As you read, keep a pen and pad of paper nearby to jot down any encouraging words or anything that resonates with you. Turn those words into a prayer to God, and talk about anything causing stress and anything for which you are grateful. Think about people you care about and their needs, and pray for them. It doesn’t matter how you phrase the prayers, talk as if you are sharing with a friend. Spend five minutes, or twenty, or whatever works.
If you can, carve out a little retreat – in your closet, laundry room, or a chair in the living room. If it’s impossible to be alone because of small children, work constraints, or no space, figure out what works. The mother of Billy Graham, who had seven children, shared that when her kids were little, she would keep her Bible open by the kitchen sink to read it while washing dishes! Although eating while standing isn’t ideal, sometimes that’s how we have to take a meal; it’s the same with nourishment for the soul.
Reading the Bible and praying isn’t a legalistic challenge – it’s okay not to do it three times per day; I have often struggled during the pandemic to stop my tasks and start time with God. My human impulse is to do the next thing on the endless to-do list first, but time goes by, and before I know it, another day has ended. Although my phone is typically a distraction in life, as I check the weather, the news, my email, text messages, social media feeds, and family chats, it is a tremendous help in my desire to have these three soul-feeding sessions per day. By using the reminder feature to prompt me, I can easily ensure that I won’t miss these most valuable meals during the busy work of the day.
Thankfully, this practice is not a way to earn salvation – that’s impossible since our salvation is through God’s grace alone, not our efforts. God tells us to draw near to Him, and He will draw near to us. Time with God is a way to reconnect to the one true source of encouragement and joy daily. Refueling and filling up on a satisfying spiritual meal equips us to face the day with joy and not dread, with patience and not frustration, with peace and not anxiety. It gives the sustenance needed to pour out to others in our paths and to help lighten the load of another.
Our souls need rest. When we walk through valleys like the one in which we find ourselves now, how wonderful it would be to look back on this pandemic and NOT say that we tolerated it but that we thrived in it because even in the valleys (especially in the valleys), the Lord is our shepherd, we lack nothing. He brings us to green pastures to lie down; He leads us beside still waters and refreshes our souls. We only have to join Him at the table.
Do you feel depleted during this season? What do you do to refuel and refresh your body? What do you do to refresh your spirit? Would you be willing to commit a few minutes several times daily to spend time with God? How do you think your day would be different if you were to adopt this practice?